Category Archives: love

So You’ve Successfully Asked A Girl Out… (A Friendly Tip On The Next Step)

Not sure if it’s just me, but it puts me off when a guy asks me out and then when date night comes, ta-da, he doesn’t have any plans. You spend a good 10-15 minutes on a conversation similar to the one below:

Him: What do you want to do?
You: Anything. Do you have something in mind?
Him: Not really, we should do what you want to do.
You: Let’s eat then.
Him: Where do you want to eat?
And so on..

First, let me just say that I know that maybe the guy is just being considerate. After all, he’s aiming to please and he probably just wants to consider what you want to do. But here are the reasons why this M.O. will most likely backfire:

  • It comes across as lazy. At least show her that there’s some effort from your part going into this date. Yes, you might be paying for everything (or going halfsies, that’s not a problem) but “It’s the thought that counts.” isn’t a cliche for nothing. Okay, I might have misappropriated that cliche, but it’s really simple: You make an effort = we make an effort.
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Primping is a lot of work, you know.
  • When you put us on the spot, making us decide the next steps, it’s like we planned the date. (Effect: See #1.) Also, it’s stressful trying to think of a ‘balanced’ answer. By balanced, I mean something that we really want to do without making it seem like we’re being too dictating.
  • What if you ask a girl what she wants to do she answers you, “Oh I want to do this thing!” and it turns out it’s out of your budget, or not within the realm of the possible things you can give her?

So, I did mention a tip. Here it is. Women are not averse to being included in the planning stages. You can consult her before the date (but not right before) or you can ask her friends/check out her facebook to see the range of her interests. You can also totally surprise her. As long as you’ve got some semblance of a plan. Remember: a man who knows when to take charge is really hot.

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These are a few of my favorite things!

Since this week had me feeling a lot of negative emotions, I decided to counter that by listing the little things that make me feel good:
  • My mother’s cooking.
  • The smell of new books. The smell of old books. The feel of a book in my hands.
  • A golazo from a player I love, and a really great goal celebration.
  • Taking my first bite of quality chocolate that I haven’t tasted before.
  • The anticipation before a kiss.
  • A really good read or photo from the internet.
  • A really epic movie. Alternately, a really fluffy movie which allows me to space out.
  • My bed, after a really long day.
  • Laughing with friends. Nothing like it.
  • Getting snail mail or postcards.
  • Grocery-shopping.
  • Buying school supplies.
  • Applying lotion. Oh yeah.
  • A really good song that I can play over and over again until I get sick of it.
  • Planning pretend events.
  • Pretentious coffee. (I just can’t quit!)
  • Getting unexpected but sincere compliments.
  • Wearing my really ratty shirts at home, sans bra.
  • Potato-based products.
  • Our Awesome Fantasy Lives (Hello Pat and Jerome)
  • When it’s really cold and my breath comes out in white puffs. Happens rarely in a tropical country.
  • Making lists. And checking it twice.

There you go! Actually, there’s a lot more but this is enough for now. Goes to show that for every tiny thing that pisses me off, there is something that can make me feel good. In fact, I think the ratio could be 1:2, but it’s so easy to forget the good things.

[UK 2011] It’s a Hindu Wedding: Ajay + Angel

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The main reason why we were in the UK finally arrived: the day of Angel’s wedding to Ajay. To give you a tidbit of their love story, Angel met Ajay when we were about 19 or 20. Ajay did a kind of a modern knight-in-shining armour (note the British spelling, hehe) thing for Angel, avenging her from a douchey sort-of ex-boyfriend. They’re living proof that love does conquer not only distance, but also a vast difference in culture and upbringing. Ajay is Hindu and was born and raised in London while Angel is a “good” Catholic girl who was raised with people like me, so that does not bode well in terms of maturity and social skills (though she did turn out better than most of us :P).

I always think about them whenever I encounter this quote:

“Absence does for love what the wind does for a flame: it extinguishes the weak, and feeds the strong.”

The day of the wedding started early for us, with most of the wedding party heading to the venue to prep. Dale, on the other hand, went with Angel to the salon because a male “family member” should be with her at all times. Well, that or Dale just really wanted some pampering time. Pat and I got into our Indian suits, which really did not suit us at all. Yeah, they were pretty, but mostly worn by the middle-aged wedding guests, while the girls our age wore saris. No big deal, Sam worked his magic on our faces and damn she’s good!

Pat and I with the glowing bride. Thanks to a professional makeup artist, we simulated "glowing" too.

Here’s some more pictures of the bride, and details of her wedding gown.

The beautiful bride checking her hair.

Beadwork adorning the bodice and the skirt of her gown.

I feel like I, or even the official photographer, didn’t take enough photos of the bride pre-ceremony. I don’t know, maybe I’m just used to the Filipino (and Western) way of everyone fussing over the bride and taking a gazillion photos of her. But it’s less stressful this way, I guess. Personally, I just wish I had better pictures to show you.

The guys looked very dashing in their tuxes. They played a prominent role in the ceremony, since Angel only had biological sisters and the Hindu ceremony calls for male members of the bride’s family.

Dale, Vince, Jerome - the brodesmaids!

Before it was time for the actual wedding ceremony, there was a ritual of the groom’s family dancing towards the bride’s home. I’ve seen this in many Bollywood movies (okay, in “Bride and Prejudice”). In this case, since the bride’s actual home is a long way from London, the reception hall served as a makeshift home for the family of the bride– sans the bride– to welcome the groom’s family. Sadly, there were no elephants, but I got over it quickly.

Sincerely hoping that was Ajay under the veil.

After a lot of hugging, it was time to go down and prep the bride. Four of us girls (me, Pat, Princess, and Sam) were carrying the canopy which Angel will walk under and we hid with the bride until it was time to go. And then… the bride was revealed to everyone. Fortunately, there was no dancing involved in this part.

I am excellent at canopy-holding!

The bride and the groom

The wedding ceremony was in Sanskrit, which not even the bride and groom understood fully. Or at all. Some of it was translated in English, but there were jokes or maybe stories in Hindu that we just had to smile through. Other than that and the priest’s unfortunate see-through pants (unfortunate for us at the front), the ceremony was beautiful, colorful, and unlike anything I’ve witnessed live before. It was fascinating to see the difference in a Hindu traditional wedding vs. a Filipino one.

The look of la-la-love!

I like how much the families are involved in the ceremony. They have roles not limited to the start and end of the wedding.

The "bros" had a lot of things to do during the ceremony

I knew this wedding was a long time coming– and haven’t we been celebrating for a week now?– but I couldn’t help thinking the entire time, “This is it. Finally!” Not even ashamed to admit, I teared up a little bit. Angel was the first one to get married in our group and I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.

After the ceremony, we had to wait a while before the bride and groom enters the reception, so Pat and I had time to transform from these:

Prim and proper in our Indian suits

…to these!

"Slut up!" was the theme of the reception

This picture does not capture how short this dress is. Thanks sis!

Ajay made a cute intro video for the reception which I can’t post here in all its awesomeness, as it’s password protected. It’s one of the most unique wedding videos I’ve ever seen. It starts with Ajay sleeping on a hotel… pshh, it’s not going to be as good when I just narrate the thing. Just take my word for it, it was mega-awesome. Perks of having a professional filmmaker for a husband.

By this time, I’ve mostly forgotten about my camera and just ate, drank, danced and repeated the three in varying rate and frequency. I probably did the drinking the most because a) the lychee martini was delicious and b) Ben the bartender was Aaron Ramsey-cute. My lame attempts at flirting got me nowhere, so I did what I did best: talked about football. Which mostly got his attention away from the other simpering females who knew nothing of last season’s results. WIN.

I got so by the end of the night, I fell asleep on the ride home. Then the carriage turned back into a pumpkin. 🙂