Not sure if it’s just me, but it puts me off when a guy asks me out and then when date night comes, ta-da, he doesn’t have any plans. You spend a good 10-15 minutes on a conversation similar to the one below:
Him: What do you want to do?
You: Anything. Do you have something in mind?
Him: Not really, we should do what you want to do.
You: Let’s eat then.
Him: Where do you want to eat?
And so on..
First, let me just say that I know that maybe the guy is just being considerate. After all, he’s aiming to please and he probably just wants to consider what you want to do. But here are the reasons why this M.O. will most likely backfire:
- It comes across as lazy. At least show her that there’s some effort from your part going into this date. Yes, you might be paying for everything (or going halfsies, that’s not a problem) but “It’s the thought that counts.” isn’t a cliche for nothing. Okay, I might have misappropriated that cliche, but it’s really simple: You make an effort = we make an effort.
- When you put us on the spot, making us decide the next steps, it’s like we planned the date. (Effect: See #1.) Also, it’s stressful trying to think of a ‘balanced’ answer. By balanced, I mean something that we really want to do without making it seem like we’re being too dictating.
- What if you ask a girl what she wants to do she answers you, “Oh I want to do this thing!” and it turns out it’s out of your budget, or not within the realm of the possible things you can give her?
So, I did mention a tip. Here it is. Women are not averse to being included in the planning stages. You can consult her before the date (but not right before) or you can ask her friends/check out her facebook to see the range of her interests. You can also totally surprise her. As long as you’ve got some semblance of a plan. Remember: a man who knows when to take charge is really hot.